I'm not into cerebral today, so you'll have to just go with it.
- Stick it to the homeless by putting foreign coins in the return slot of parking meters and phones.
- In a bad part of town, Krazy Glue a crack rock to a cop's gun. Yowza!
- Go to a fire house and squirt lighter fluid onto one of their trucks. When a fireman approaches, light it up and say, "How ironic, non?"
- Go to the Polish consulate and run around it several times with a lightbulb and... wait, I told it wrong.
- When you order pizza and they tell you "45 minutes or it's free", opt for free.
- Go to the moon and erect a large monolith. Rig it up so that when an astronaut touches it, it farts.
P.S. Why is it even possible to make toast so dark.