Apr 9, 2008

Spoiler Alert!


  1. Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull is set in 1938, starting three days after Indy last shaved.
  2. 14 seconds after Iron Man opens to a record opening day, Robert Downey Jr. will be back in rehab for "addiction to fucking up his life without actually killing himself".
  3. Any finale to Battlestar Galactica that does not involve that Cylon babe having sex with me is going to be very disappointing.
  4. On a very special episode of ER, someone will be in distress because of the preventable injury that befalls someone they love. There will be intubation.
  5. Although the Democrat nomination will go down to the wire, and the two parties will poll in a dead heat until November, in the end, people will still feel ambivalent about choosing between a woman, a black guy and an old guy.
  6. Try as you might, you are not going to lose any weight this summer.
  7. Scheduled for release in December, the new iPod Superstring will weigh in at 25 grains, will wirelessly connect to your headphones with a thought-control playlist... and you will still only listen to crap music from the 70s.