Apr 15, 2008

Mmmm... Light Sweet Crude...


With oil prices about to eclipse that of 2% milk, I offer the following suggestions:
  • Buy a bunch of barrels of oil. Keep 'em.
  • Don't drive to the cottage on Earth Day.
  • Stop buying shit. Everything is made of oil, dude.
  • When driving full speed with your AC on full and the windows open, try to carpool.
  • Go green by diluting your Zesty Italian with 10% ethanol.
  • Note: using spell-check on your computer wastes electrisity.
  • When offering a clean commuting alternative to automobiles, try not striking - you silly, pampered assholes.
  • Get a job in Big Oil (or Midnight Oil, if they're still hiring).
  • Invade Iran. Hey the last one worked so well!