Apr 15, 2009

In my country...

While visiting the Democratic Republic of Jeremy, please be advised of the following:
  • Brownies do not have icing. It's a brownie for crying out loud.

  • The Prime Minister must commence all sessions with an arm-wrestle.

  • People do not need a countdown to the yellow light. They need to get out of my way.

  • Surprise parties are a well-respected art-form, eligible for federal funding.

  • The TTC chair gets no car... forever.

  • There are no 'eject' buttons on remotes.

  • Parliament can be dissolved at any time...  in warm water.

  • All criticism of McDonalds is directed toward Burger King one month per year, and Arby's for a week. 

  • People who say "cool beans" are subject to death by cool beans.

  • Wine snobs are subject to snap audits. Failure to accurately identify price-range within $1 revokes all adjective privileges for one year.

  • The current decade is referred to as 'Prince'.